Head Down As I Watch My Feet Take Turns Hitting The Ground Eyes Shut I Find Myself And Love Racing Thy Earth And I'm Soaked In Your Love . Love Is Right In My Path , In My Grasp And Me And You Belong . I Want To Run Smashed Into You . Ears Closed What I Hear Know One Else Has To Know , Because I Know In What We Have Is Worth 1st Place In Gold .
I love the passion in this poem. I can tell that whatever this girl feels is powerful and consuming her thoughts. I struggle a bit with the format. I think that some of the rhythm is lost with the way you have the lines ordered--together on the same line. Have you tried taking out some of the ands and ins? Spend some time on this one--you have something very good here
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